JetFable’s Gamer Writer’s Block

Geez, the title sound a bit too sentimental, even for me (so I added a second part). I heard this quote from watching El Cazador de la Bruja, which is in fact a real quote from a famous person. I forgot who, but I’d have to look that up later. The first and only rule of love, is that one must do everything to make the beloved happy. That’s a very simple rule if you ever pondered whether you loved a person, or another person loved you. I used that rule and I asked myself whether I love my parents, the conclusion is that I am probably not a very good son, I try to play my role as a dutiful, moral son, but thats about it. But if I use that rule and apply to whether they love each other, they probably love each other less than I love them, because they are both not quite happy people. The conclusion that I arrive at that I am not a very good son, is because their happiness just isn’t my priority, when they refuse to make each other happy. I use that rule and ask whether I love anyone else, I am not quite sure (or I probably wont say it here). When there’s a certain someone lying next to me in my bed, I don’t think I have ever looked upon that certain someone with the feeling of love. I gaze upon her and would feel one of the following:

1) A combination of disgust and shock. She looked much better in the dark, much much better.
2) She’s great looking, but I want to do something else now, so when is she leaving?.
3) A combination of disgust and shock. Wait, this is not a recap of #1. Now I wonder how much it is going to cost me, I am broke.
4) All of the above (minus the great looking part from #2)

The point is that I never really looked at someone (in bed) and thought, hay maybe this is the rest of my life and it would not be so bad, maybe I want to make her happy. Hay the blog is supposed to be sarcasticly philosophical, so not many of you are going to take me seriously, not unlike my friend from Thailand, who still refuses to speak to me as of, now. But the fact is that, I really don’t give a damn. One part of the Tipping Point (yes I am still reading it) says that absolute personality is really a illusion. We all play different roles in front of different people, and we wear different faces. I am awesome here and mostly everywhere else, but  never in front of my parents. They still think I can’t do anything and don’t know anything. A nice and generous person may only be nice and generous to his friends, and a stingy person may only be generous to his family. There are no absolutes, thus in fact, different people bring out the different personalities in us (for many different reasons). That’s why we sometimes like a group of people, or we like a single person as a companion, is because maybe we like ourselves for what personalities they bring out in us. How this have anything to do with the Tipping Point is really for you to find out. But I have again gone off track.

Actually, I really wanted to talk about religion more than anything else. I know many religious people and also many firm-stance athiest. If you still remember the first and only rule of love, well someone told me he started believing in God because he felt God’s love all around him. He told me God’s love was not a reward-based system because when we usually love somebody we expect something in return, and that is not true with God. But of course the first and only rule of love does not require reward. Do people seek religion for reward, of course they do. Everything in this world there is a trade-off. We trade the time for worship and in return we gain guidance, happiness, or even immortality (life after death). I think those of us who are athiest are often approached by Christians that say if we do not accept God we will not gain entry into heaven, but according to the first and only rule of love, if God loves all of us, does it really matter if we love Him back? Do you really think He cares? Or should He? As long as we live our lives as a good person and love those around us (if you even believe in judgement). A good friend of mine says he asked a chrisitian this question: If a person chooses to not accept God then he cannot be saved. But then if a person lived in some remote island (a tribe without outside contact) and never gotten that choice, what happens when he die? If he’s outside the system (but still saved) then is he really better off without contact with those who may seek to convert him. At the end, I have said that many times, is that I think religion is a good thing, and I am never against it, but I question it, like I question everything in this world. I don’t think we have so much free will as we would like to have, as our genes from those who came before us, and in combinaion of our environment (which we also lack a choice of, in our childhood), shape us into what we are, whether we are a free-thinker, or a religious person. And since we don’t have a choice, what happens when we die?

I think Oblivion awaits us. That scares a lot of people, but it doesn’t scare me. A friend, who is a scientist/doctor, told me that the soul violates the first law of Thermodynamics. Of course I don’t believe everything about science, since science is created to explain the illusion that is presented to us. I do believe in people who says they see ghosts, though I can’t validate their claim. My friend told me that ghostly images is the result of the Grudge (yes, similar to the movie), the negative energy energy one unleash upon this world when he dies (usually not a very happy death). As long as those images (and they do not have a will) feed on the lifeforce of this world, it does not violate thermodynamics. I do not doubt that is a possibility, but possibilites are possibilities. I think people who are born with the “Ghost Eye” sees a dimension collapse, when the past and future collide, and images and footprints spill across their mind, are they really ghosts or are they just like us living their daily lives in their own time and oblivious of our existence? And there is also the possiblity that it is the untapped potential of the human brain that creates and give life to ghosts and gods. If you have read C.S. Friedman’s ColdFire Trilogy (one of the best of all time), there’s a substance call Fae that lives on that planet, and whatever the human mind thought of that substance took the shape of our imagination, and that gave rise to monsters, demons, magic, and gods. At the end, what I really want to say is, this world is still an interesting place. It is worth uncovering the secrets of this world, even if oblivion (or something worse, what can be worse? eternal damnation?) awaits us, and loving someone else sometimes make us happy, even if we get absolutely nothing back, in return.

I read this interesting article Darwin’s God about an interesting theory that human maybe genetically hardwired to worship spiritual deity. The article was really long, some of it insightful, but most of it uninteresting. But the conclusion to the article is especially well written, especially this part:

What can be made of atheists, then? If the evolutionary view of religion is true, they have to work hard at being atheists, to resist slipping into intrinsic habits of mind that make it easier to believe than not to believe. Atran says he faces an emotional and intellectual struggle to live without God in a nonatheist world, and he suspects that is where his little superstitions come from, his passing thought about crossing his fingers during turbulence or knocking on wood just in case. It is like an atavistic theism erupting when his guard is down. The comforts and consolations of belief are alluring even to him, he says, and probably will become more so as he gets closer to the end of his life. He fights it because he is a scientist and holds the values of rationalism higher than the values of spiritualism.

I had to read it twice to understand what he meant by having an “atavistic theism” erupting (no sexual jokes here please), well for a normal person of an normal intellect, you should read it 5 times at least. That was good writing, and I love reading masterful writing by other elegant wordsmiths. In any case, I have felt that, and I agree with what he said. It is harder to be atheist, to question everything, then to take in something, as blind faith. Belief in religion, God, whatever you call it, the answer to everything, does fill up that void, that emptiness that sometimes well up between us. It is much harder, to willingly face that void everyday, and to challenge why you are here, and what you can accomplish, and to face oblivion, when your life ends.

I disagree with most of the article that suggests spiritual belief is genetic. I believe that religion is an inevitable evolution of all cultures of sentient beings. To be able to think freely, is to question the existence of oneself, and to fear death. Religion grants us immortality, and it is the most basic function of all living things to find a way to live on. If human beings did not evolve from more primitive lifeforms, and let’s say if an alien civilization genetically engineered us, and are still monitoring us from the shadows, then perhaps the seeds of religion were planted in our societies, to keep us in check. For if religion answered everything, we would not have to seek the answer, and the world would be flat for all we know and Earth was the center of the universe, we would be lambs for those who reign above us (again, Xenogears referece). Religion keeps a civilization tamed, religion teaches us to be good, which isn’t a bad thing. To be good with reward in mind (like a better reincarnated life, like Heaven) is easy, to be good and still face oblivion is courage. It takes a lot more courage to be atheist. The truth does not always liberate us. I am not saying there’s no suprime being out there, but I am keeping an open mind, perhaps the gene to question everything is what’s really hardwired inside me.

Ever taken that class in college? I heard they had it in the University of Toronto, during the 60s. But before I get into that, I have never actually seen a ghost, not sure if I want to or not though, but I have experienced some strange phenomenon (other than work sucks). I forgot how old I was, probably around 10, and one night in my room I saw toys flying. Actually they were projections of toys I had in my room, or you could call them ghosts. No, I wasn’t dreaming, because, for the first time I was scared and I screamed, my mom came into the room, her hand on the light switch apparently blasted the room in this white light, and the ghosts were gone. But when she left me and close the door again, the projections were back. But I wasn’t as scared this time around, but thats besides the point. It happened, even my Mom remembered it because I had told her afterwards, but she didn’t see them.

Just what were they? Alien Experimentation? Spirit of Toys? Hallucinations? Schizophernia? Classic Haunting? Poltergeist activity? I thought about it a lot, but didn’t arrive at an answer. Then last year, I remembered talking about it with a Christian friend, and all of a sudden this memory popped up again (okay there is another explanation, if you believe that ‘yesterday’ didn’t actually exist, then anything could be injected into my memory, or my mom’s, just to confirm my story). Anyway, I think my Christian friend told me, with firm ideals, that there are no ghosts. Then I question her, hay you guys are the ones that believe in the existence of the spirit (as for me, I remain doubtful), and she said, it is stated in the Bible, that the human soul must pass on to be judged after death, and no souls can linger on Earth. I guess this depends on your interpretation of the bible, some of my other Christian friends do believe in ghosts that linger on the surface of Earth (the Bible did mention legions of ghosts). She told me that all haunting activities are done by the devil and his underlings (demons). I asked her if one day her dead grandparents appear in front of her, she said that she would know that its a demon playing a trick with her mind. I told her of my incident of my childhood, she did not quite know what to make of it, but she leaned towards the explanation of demons.

But, I argued, I did not feel threatened in any way. Once I had gotten past being scared of the “spirits of toys”, I actually watched their dance in the air with fascination, and they ignored me, concentrated on their own ritual. I actually felt a kind of warmth and benevolence, afterall those were the toys I loved. It could be God’s miracle, she said, or she implied, I forgot which, a sign for something (Aliens are scared of water?).

Years ago, whe I started writing my first “suspense” novel “Pillars”, it is about the main protagonist being haunted by a ghost, which turns out to be his own psychic projection, resulted from a biotech experiment, and he ends up doing some serious fighting with other super-hero type villains, wielding his own ghost. It was inspired by the comic Jo Jo’s Bizzare adventure, and a daydreaming moment in English class after reading Edgar Ellen Poe, and countless Dean Koontz novel. But I never associated it with my own experience, could that be what it was? Maybe I too have superhero powers (yeah I wish !!).

But if you study the unknowns of this world, you will find out how little you know, and that, virtually anything, is possible. Just this morning I read that there’s such a thing as negative knowledge, in a quantum universe, that means if you knew too much, I can actually tell you negative information, so you can know less. Confusing? Yes… but thats besides the point. But then if I can blog with “negative knowledge”, then I can pretty much render everyone who reads my stuff know less than they did before (not necessarily dumber), thats powerful stuff (but sadly I dont have a quantum computer). Before going off tangents, I must get back to the subject. I came across a book that talked about experiments done in 1960s, in the University of Toronto, that a group of scientists tried to prove that the phenomenon of a haunting (ala ghosts) is a direct result of the untapped power of the human mind.

How they do this, its really rather simple. Get a group of people together, meet daily, and invent someone — a fictional character, someone that fits into history (and does not contradict it), all his (or her) background, his family, his occupation, his life, how he died, talk about it everyday until it becomes part of the group, as if he really existed. The next step is to summon him, this created ghost, by using a Ouija board (or use a plate like the Chinese do, really, any summoning medium will work, as long as you believe it). A Ouija board lets you communicate with the ghost, so the experimental group asked him question, and the ghost responded, answering history about his life that the group made up, and I think, further towards the end of the experiment, they even got actual imprints of the ghost in clay (don’t ask me how this is possible). But the whole point is, it can’t be a ghost, not a spirit of a dead man, because he’s made up, a fictional character. That’s the whole point of the experiment — the power of the human mind, if 5 people believed something existed, that thing could really exist. But at the end, what does this experiment really tell us, really nothing at all. It doesn’t prove or disprove the existence of ghosts, it doesn’t prove that the ghosts out there are products of the human mind. A Christian would probably argue that a demon took advantage of a group of gullible scientists and research subjects and “played” with them. At the end, this is really negative information (which I accomplished without achieving a quantum state), you know less than you did before. Or do you?

So what is the point, you ask? Why am I writing this? The point is that if you embrace all the possibilites of the world, you will start having new answers for questions you’ve asked before. For example, if you believe the results of the above experiment, that 5 people can create a ghost, what do you think billions of people could create with their mind? If you are agnostic, or atheist, or won’t be offended at what I’m suggesting, yes, they can create religion, they can create a god (I won’t capitolize here, for this is just an hypothesis). If you played Dungeons and Dragons, you know that the gods gain power by having followers, and a god can die if nobody believe in them anymore. Did gods like Athena and Zeus and Odin existed in the ancient time? Perhaps, because people believed.

Of course this is just a possibility, and chance of that being real is pretty much equal to Aliens planting DNA on earth, or some higher power created men, or this it the Matrix and this is a dream. But the chance of you finding out for real is 0, that is until your faith overides your logic reasoning (aka you officially follow a religion). But what if, a higher power dreamed us into existence, and then we believe this new power into existence, and this new power dreams other worlds into existence, an unending cycle of dreams and imagination and believe, but I guess that is best left for the realms of science fiction.

At the end, what happened when I was a child? Was I so lonely that I believed toys could fly, and they did? If that was indeed the power of my mind, it was not strong enough to duplicate the result again. Perhaps as I grew older, my mind is filled with questions and science, and I no longer believed in magic, and so it didn’t work anymore (Peter Pan anyone?). Perhaps knowing more, is to know less, then some negative knowledge will benefit us all.